Emotion Management

Together we find solutions that work specifically for you. Together we find effective ways of moving forward. Skills gained from fifteen years of trauma and abuse recovery work within the medical model of psychotherapy are applied through the holistic approach of Transformational Life Coaching.


  • Freedom from residual resentment, anger and fear.
  • Stop hurting those you love, no longer placing responsibility for your happiness on others.
  • Holding yourself and others hostage to the past, expecting the fantasies to become reality.
  • Live in the present and allowing for hopes of the future.
  • No longer feeling alien around others.
  • Gain a sense of perspective.
  • Communicate your needs, expectations and desires.
  • Resolution to old feelings and beliefs that no longer serve you.
  • No longer a need to escape through distractions, in a way to avoid the painful past.


If you have a true desire for healing and gaining an understanding of yourself… the work can begin.

What is it that usually holds us back from living life to its fullest, and experiencing our authentic individuality? For most of us, it is fear that holds us back. Fear is the emotion that keeps us safe, protects us, and triggers us, to move out of harm’s way. This may have served our ancestors well in the past, but, we are no longer living in the wild, or faced with daily survival threats. I take that back, at times we are faced with daily survival in facing financial fears, and other real life threats to our existence.


But, to what degree are we allowing non-life threatening fears to take over our emotional and physical state of being? As in the game of chess, if we strategies, and stay calm, allowing ourselves time to think out the best outcome, we are more apt to choose the most effective behavior, decision, and action to fulfill our authentic purpose at that moment.


At the time of recognizing fear, analyze the fear, is it truly life threatening or is this a fear with genetic roots? Genetic roots of fear are fears that we experience at a cellular level, fears that have been passed from one biological generation to the next. Just as our DNA carries the code of eye color, hair color etc. so too does it carry emotions.


When we are ready to take control of our life, and live with intention, we are truly free to live our authentic life!

Depression vs Major and Clinical

Major depressive disorder or clinical depression is a common but serious mood disorder. This type of depression needs a higher level of care and needs to be diagnosed and managed by a psychiatrist/psychologist.  

Depression

Differences Between Situational and Clinical Depression

Clinical depression is also known as major depression or major depressive disorder. Many of the symptoms of clinical depression are more or less interchangeable with the symptoms of situational depression. However people with clinical depression have at least five depression symptoms at the same time, and also have forms of these symptoms that are severe enough to seriously degrade their ability to participate in their normal routines. In addition, the disorder can produce symptoms not typically found in people with situational depression, including delusions, hallucinations and other forms of psychotic disturbance. While you can receive a clinical depression diagnosis for symptoms that last for as little as two weeks, many people with the disorder have bouts of symptoms that recur or reappear over extended periods of time. 

Situational Depression

Everyone occasionally feels blue or sad.  When you have depression, it interferes with daily life and causes pain for both you and those who care about you.  Depression can happen at any age, but often begins in adulthood. Depression is now recognized as occurring in children and adolescents, although it sometimes presents with more prominent irritability than low mood. 

Situational depression (rather than major depressive disorder or clinical depression) is a short-term form of depression that can occur after traumatic changes in normal life, including divorce, retirement, loss of a job and the death of a relative or close friend. Situations that can potentially overwhelm your normal coping mechanisms include surviving a hurricane or other major disaster, surviving a serious accident, experiencing a major illness, and even marriage or the birth of a child. 


Situational depression occurs when you haven’t yet adapted to the changes brought about by these situations and incorporated them into your overall life experiences.

Most people with situational depression develop symptoms within roughly 90 days following the event that triggers the condition. Depending on the individual, these symptoms can include listlessness, feelings of hopelessness, sleeping difficulties, sadness, recurring bouts of crying, unfocused anxiety, unfocused worry, loss of concentration, withdrawal from normal work or leisure activities and withdrawal from friends and family. In addition, some people develop suicidal thoughts.  


Some people with situational depression continue to experience symptoms for longer than six months. This is especially common when another emotionally or physically traumatic event occurs during the normal recovery period. If you or a loved one experience ongoing depression in the aftermath of a major life change, don’t hesitate to reach out for help! 

Anxiety

Don't allow anxiety or depression to hold you hostage from living your life!


Most people experience feelings of anxiety before an important event such as a big exam, business presentation or first date. Anxiety disorders, however, are illnesses that cause people to feel frightened, distressed and uneasy for no apparent reason. Left untreated, these disorders can dramatically reduce productivity and significantly diminish an individual's quality of life.




Anxiety feels like intense  fear or worry that doesn't go away and can get worse over time. It can influence your life to the extent that it can interfere with daily activities like school, work and/or relationships. 


Butterflies in your stomach before an important event? Worried about how you will meet a deadline? Nervous about a medical or dental procedure? If so, you are like most people, for whom some worry about major events and/or practical issues (like money or health conditions), is a normal part of life. Similarly, it is not uncommon to have fears about certain things (like spiders, injections, or heights) that cause you to feel some fear, worry, and/or apprehension.  People can differ in what causes them to feel anxious, but almost everyone experiences some anxiety in the course of their life.


When anxiety takes over your life, it's time to seek help!



Anger

Anger is normal and a healthy energizing response to real intrusions.  However, anger can also come from a perception of unfairness or fear. The person with an anger problem feels abnormally stressed most of the time.  Making the distinction between situations that require anger for protection and annoyances that simply require a deep breath is a skill. It can be learned, and it can save families, health and careers. Anger that lasts too long or happens too frequently can indicate a need to learn anger management skills. 


Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill. Research has found that, typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications. 

Signs of the Need for Anger Management

  • Cussing/swearing a lot, high drama descriptions
  • Feeling frustrated often
  • Constantly putting others down
  • Criticizing everything
  • Inability to understand another person's feelings
  • Chronically irritable or grumpy
  • Seeing the dark side of things more often than not
  • Frequently making cynical comments
  • Regularly thinking or saying, "That's horrible."
  • Repeatedly thinking or saying, "Everything's ruined."
  • Often thinking or saying, "That g**d** boss/machine/person."
  • Reacting with high drama
  • Saying "always" or "never" about yourself or others
  • Demanding and expecting (instead of asking and waiting) to get something from someone- or get something done by someone
  • Responding to hurts with anger instead of responding with hurt

***The most common traumatic stressors for young children include: accidents, physical trauma, abuse, neglect, and exposure to domestic and community violence. 

Anger and Domestic Violence Resources

National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence  http://www.ncdsv.org/


Domestic Violence Center: Controlling Angerhttp://www.dvc.org.nz/anger.htm

Four Proven Techniques for Managing Anger  http://www.angermgmt.com/techniques.asp


Addicted to Anger?  http://www.grandtimes.com/Anger.html

Power and Control Wheel   http://www.ncdsv.org/images/PowerControlwheelNOSHADING.pdf
FAQ - Domestic Violence   http://thingsarelookinup.com/Abuse/DomesticViolenceFAQ.shtml

Warning Signes of Abusive Relationships  http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive_signs.htm

Children of Domestic Violence  http://www.childrensaidsociety.org/family-support/domestic-  violence-prevention-intervention-services?gclid=CMTSt-Tah6sCFRE9gwodYgUI1Q
 

The Effects of DV On Children  http://www.acadv.org/children.html   
Anger management help center   http://www.work911.com/anger/