There is a sense of dis-empowerment in our life for which one seeks outside of self to remedy. We tend to attempt to cope in ways that we find comforting; social isolation (if we are alone we can’t hurt anyone, and they can’t hurt us), anger (unable to express emotions in our relationship, etc.), substance, gaming, and sexual behaviors which are one of the most natural ways in which we seek to self sooth.
I believe that everything comes down to power and control, healthy power and control or unhealthy adapted power and control. Personal healthy empowerment, the goal behind all of my approaches used with clients. If you or your partner is experiencing negative consequences as a result of the coping behaviors that have been used - know that there is help.
Anything can become addictive; food, gambling, exercise, sex, spending, internet, video/computer games, etc. There is a remedy for addictive behavior, let's begin the journey of healing!
Whatever form of escapism, if the activity regulates mood and relieves emotional pressures, and needs to be re-enacted time and time again – then the behavior has become addictive.
Addictions at any age begin with a sense of overwhelming and sometimes debilitating stress, depression, fear, or anxiety - leading to emotional escapism. Escaping reality, can take many forms; substance, gambling, video games, food, sex, etc. Anything that takes the person “away” becomes a way to self-medicate; the pressures seem to disappear while in the activity. Yet, the cycle of addiction always returns. The cycle can be stopped, let's talk!
The sex addict feels compelled to act out sexually. The addicts themselves (male or female) may not be able to understand why they are acting out sexually or why constant thoughts either of having sex with someone or compulsively masturbating fill their minds, and push out other avenues of interest. The addiction is often mistaken by the sex addict as “love”, but love really has nothing to do with it. What passes for love, is really a progressively negative and intrusive behavior that takes away all of the addict’s self-esteem.
The devastation felt by partners may involve feelings of betrayal, confusion, angry, lonely and leave you questioning your own self-esteem. Partners learn how to recognize that it is not their fault and to stop asking the “what if” scenarios. By working through feelings of victimization in this shared experience, we begin to find witness and support in personal growth, self-realization, and self-transformation leading to a new sense of resiliency.
People experiment with drugs for many different reasons. Many first try drugs out of curiosity, to have a good time, because friends are doing it, or in an effort to improve athletic performance or ease another problem, such as stress, anxiety, or depression. Use doesn’t automatically lead to abuse, and there is no specific level at which drug use moves from casual to problematic. It varies by individual. Drug abuse and addiction is less about the amount of substance consumed or the frequency, and more to do with the consequences of drug use. No matter how often or how little you’re consuming, if your drug use is causing problems in your life—at work, school, home, or in your relationships—you likely have a drug abuse or addiction problem.
Why Do Some Drug Users Become Addicted, While Others Don’t?
As with many other conditions and diseases, vulnerability to addiction differs from person to person. Your genes, mental health, family and social environment all play a role in addiction. Risk factors that increase your vulnerability include:
With beguiling eyes and sensuous words, addiction finds us in our most vulnerable moments. With promises of unlimited ecstasy and highs beyond what we have ever dreamed, addiction whispers of adoration and devotion, all the emotions we have ever dreamed of. Once addiction has us, it follows through with a onetime ecstasy, but never again will it give us that same experience. Forever asking for more and more from us, hinting we are not good enough. Temperamental and fickle, addiction’s adoration and devotion begin to fade, all the while demanding absolute dedication from us.
As with a vicious lover, addiction is never satisfied and looks outside the relationship for new addictive behaviors and substances to fulfill its needs, all the while dragging us behind.
Let's work together in maintaining your sobriety. This is a whole new way of looking at your life, environment, social, work and personal relationships. Getting acquainted with your self and adapting to the new, is part of what we work on together. Recovery is not a journey to take alone!